Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:09 am
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the teacher asked him:
"Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?"
Young Bobby replied with
"The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
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Here's a good one:
SOB Fish:
The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide,holding a net, yelled,"Look at the size of that S-O-B!!!.
Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for! "No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is- a S-O-B fish!""Really? Well then, help me land this S-O-B!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster."Father, that's the biggest S-O-B I've ever seen" "I agree, it's a big S-O-B. What should I do with it?" "Why, eat it! Of course. You've never tasted anything as good as a S-O-B!" Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.
While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip." Take a look at this big SOB I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!""It's OK Sister, that's what kind of fish it is, a SOB fish!"
"Oh well then, what are you going to do with that big SOB?" Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the SOB for dinner."I'll even clean the SOB", she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing Sister?" "Father wants me to clean this big SOB for the new Bishop's Dinner""Sister! I'll clean it if your're so upset! Please watch your language!" "No, no, no, it's called a SOB fish." "Really? Well, in that case,I'll fix up a great meal to go with it,and that SOB can be the main course!
On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared and excellent meal.The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent. The new Bishop said,
"This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that SOB!''proclaimed the proud priest.
"And I cleaned that SOB!" exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the SOB,using a special recipe!"
The new Bishop looked around at each of them.
Abig smile crept across his face as he said,
"You f-ers are my kind of people!!!"