Jokes

[)DEMON(]

I hope not.
Somebody please post more jokes!

[alex bennett]

So theres these 3 ducks illegally trespassing in a pond, so a cop takes them to jail and when they see the judge he asks them what they were doing, the first duck says well,I was blowing bubbles. He asks the second one, it also said that it was blowing bubbles. Then he asked the third one if he was also blowing bubbles, it responded, no no, I AM bubbles.

I cant remeber any more.... ive got a few but they require body language...one really funny one, but will offend anyone that is religious in anyway, but damn funny.

[sgort87]

I'm up for em.

[spudmonkey]

im up for them too

[schmanman]

I made this one up yesterday

what do canabals like to drink with there breakfast??



A: A cup of joe!!

[alex bennett]

aight, so why do girls like to go to the baptist chruch?



because they heard there was a guy hung like this
(extend arms lateral, palms facing foward, face down and cocked to the left)

[drac]

ROFLMAO!!!!!


That's priceless! and i'm christian too... lmao

[rl93]

lol

[saladtossser]

i honestly dont get it...

anyways
anybody mind if i make fun of jesus?

[rl93]

yes i do

[benstern]

alex bennett there is one problem with your joke, birds do not have a penis.
Just simple anatomy and biology!

EDIT: actually your joke is valid due to ducks being one of the few birds that actually have a phallus

[beebs111]

ooooh oooooh make fun of jesus

Edit: omg alex bennit i just got that, lol

[beebs111]

i have a few extremely racist jokes that follow so if you are offended by racisim towards blacks or mexicans, dont read the following.
By The Way i dont think like this, i just find them halarious.

why does the mexican olympic team suck?
because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already in america
what do you do if you see a mexican with one leg?
reload
what do you do if you see a black guy running?
drive faster
what do you do if you see your tv levatating in the middle of the night?
shoot the black guy
what do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?
theyre both lots of fun till your friends see you riding one

[saladtossser]

alex bennett there is one problem with your joke, birds do not have a penis.
Just simple anatomy and biology!

EDIT: actually your joke is valid due to ducks being one of the few birds that actually have a phallus

dude thats one site i can do without seeing

Here is one making fun of jesus, just dont read if you are offended:
Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?
Cuz he always gets nailed to the board!

[alex bennett]

k so there is this amish guy that goes everywhere with his donkey, and he lived on his farm his enitre life, never been to a city, one day he wins the lottery and decides to go to the city, of course he brings his donkey, aince he didnt have any place to crash he went to the most expenisve hotel he could find, at $5000 a night, they put his donkey in a pen and escort him to his room, where he finds the most comfortable bed, the largest tv, and all the food/drinks that he could have. but not knowing about luxury he sleeps on the floor and dosent touch anything. the next morning he goes to check out and they ask for $5000, he asks for what? they say well, you used our hotel, he said well, i didnt use anything, i just slept on the floor, and the clerk is like, well it was there for you, you could of. and then hes like, im sueing you for raping my donkey, and hes like wtf? and the man is like, it was right there, you could of.

this lady goes out in her husbands boat, and reads a book in the middle of the lake, where its nice and relaxing. wildlife cops show up in there boat, and asks for her fishing liscense (there is tackle from her husband in the boat) and shes like, i wasnt fishing, the cops were like well you have all the equipment, you still need a liscense, and shes like well im sueing you for sexual battery, and hes like but i didnt touch you, and shes like but you have all the equipment.